are you still at the devil's house?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
