Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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