well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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