Im at strip club and am horny
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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