What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
