was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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