M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm bleeding and have questions
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
