Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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