Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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