I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
