So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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