We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
