Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
