Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
