you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
