"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize