trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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