hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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