When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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