Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
