Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
