It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
