She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
