Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think a kid would responsible me up
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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