4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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