Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize