nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
