Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
