about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
