i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
