how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
