i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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