he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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