when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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