the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize