so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
