Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
