i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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