I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
