Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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