She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
