evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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