Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
