Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dicks are not precious.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
