it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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