I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will be naked everywhere
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
