Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
