Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
