I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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