Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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