I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
