similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
