i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
