i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
