Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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