So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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