And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Terrible idea I love it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
