I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
