just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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