I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
