i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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