I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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