history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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