I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
